Masculinity and Femininity, and the Danger of Putting the Cart before the Horse.

Masculinity leads, and Femininity follows.

When masculinity leads, emotions are secondary. When masculinity leads, the declaration is this: “I will be happy when I find out the truth, whether I think I like the truth or not.” Masculinity puts aside feelings not as if feelings are irrelevant, but in the sense that the person is fulfilled only after discovering the truth, not putting the cart before the horse.
 
Femininity reinforces and stabilizes society during the journey, as it were, empowered to do so by masculine, decisive truth. Where masculinity puts truth on the forefront, femininity puts feeling on the forefront, using the empowerment of truth to focus directly on the comfort of people.
 
To put the cart before the horse–when femininity leads masculinity–the statement is, “I will seek my happiness first, because if I’m happy, I must have found the truth.” The benefit of truth is happiness, for sure, but when femininity leads it attempts to put truth in subordination to feelings.
 
In the modern world, this can be seen in society and is rampant in church culture as well as the secular world; the priority is not “finding the truth,” but “tolerance.” In the extreme case of the secular world, modern ideology supposes that wildly opposing beliefs on morality must submit to the happiness of society. Christian culture has adopted this attitude, that keeping peace between people is more important than the correctness of beliefs; we must “agree to disagree” if that’s what it takes to keep the primary purpose, being the comfort of people, achieved–supposing that that’s what it means to be “loving.”
 
To be loving means to desire the well-being of others. When we acknowledge that the truth exists, we know that others are loved when they are directed to the life-giving truth and it is indeed quite loving to be insistent on truth (masculinity), not excluding the personal touch of ministering to others in ways that are palatable (that is, they are able to receive it) to them (femininity).
 
Masculinity leads to the truth, cultivates the impersonal elements, to draw strength from that which is outside society and outside of the person and outside of comfort, in the form of seeking power. Masculinity then ministers that power to femininity–which MUST follow behind as secondary–and femininity puts back into society by ministering comfort to it (nurturing), having received the power to do so by masculinity.
 
Femininity in the lead says that all truth must submit to my feelings. Femininity in submission draws power from the truth outside of the person and then ministers to the person. Masculinity in the lead trusts that pursuit of the truth will lead to happiness and puts the agenda of happiness aside to that end. Masculinity in submission is crippled from being able to lead into the wilderness to find truth and then provide its benefits to femininity.
 
Once again, the masculine/feminine interaction is nowhere near as simple as a biological male and female. Men and women both are feminine–i.e. submissive–to the entirely masculine God (as the bride of Christ) who provides power to mankind when mankind is submissive; of course men are to be completely submissive/feminine to God in order to receive that power for the sake of life and comfort. When men minister those benefits to women similarly, women echo the benefits back to men with abilities to maximize human comfort and therefore keep society healthy. Both on the individual level (marriage, most notably) or in general, hence a few notes in Scripture that women are to be submissive in manner to men in general. 1 Timothy 2:11-14 of course refers to women learning in “full submission” to male teachers, ultimately, and can minister a masculine/feminine interaction among themselves. 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, at heart, notes the supportive nature of women relative to men in general. Put under a magnifying glass and blown out of proportion, it might appear that women do nothing for men at all after men (including those not their husbands) yet the abundant remainder of Scripture’s discussion with regards to how believers serve each other spiritually does not constantly place male/female parameters on interactions.
 
To approach the matter of how male and female interact, there is that which–I believe–is simply expected to occur naturally when “men are men” and “women are women” when the principles therein are understood. For one thing, Scripture clearly indicates that men and women both are submissive to other men as is apparent with the arrangements of male teachers and elders. In more common interactions I believe this occurs to lesser degrees, Fathers to daughters, brothers and sisters, in common biological family, and of course we are called to treat one another as such in the spiritual family as “brothers and sisters” (1 Timothy 5:1-2). How this works out in practice may open long and complicated discussions, but this is how interactions work.

What I find clear is that masculinity and femininity struggle to put each other to good use in this culture, socially. Men can be caught in a sort of machismo, not knowing their need for the nurturing of femininity; pastors–spiritual leaders, a masculine interaction to the feminine submission–are to be strong at all times, not needing the support of those to whom they lead. When the leader stumbles, people often think little of supporting the leader, and instead criticize without becoming a part of the solution.

Without the feminine support, the masculine gets burnt out, as unfortunately happens so often to those in leadership positions.

At the same time, as I often talk about, there are probably twenty words of criticism toward men from women for every one word involving women looking to be part of the solution to men’s problems; men, whom women simply expect to be strong. The deception then goes two ways in this interaction: masculine forgets its use for feminine support and gets exhausted in its machismo, and femininity forgets how to do anything for the masculine other than take the benefits without giving anything in return.

I pray for restored interactions in what God designed beautifully in total submission to Him.

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