My writing here, on this blog, represents getting a lot of my thoughts down on the matter of men’s personal fulfillment. Christian mainstream culture is darkly polluted with misandry: a constant railing against men for their duties and responsibilities without an element of compassion with regard to the actual situations of men. Men are human, and that means two things for the sake of the discussion: we have the same innate value as women, and we can’t function without being taken care of as such (whether we do so on our own or with help).
To answer the question of the article’s title, I would say “almost.” Defining MGTOW is something of a paradox, because it has no definition except that a man MAKES his own definition for the course of his life, after identifying a misandric culture which means to use and exploit him. That said, there are a number of tendencies that I feel can be addressed.
First, I’ll speak about my disagreements with the MGTOW approach, if they are in fact real disagreements. The end goal of a man should include a give-and-take relationship with the Body of Christ which currently makes a habit of ignoring men’s issues, and is thus simply not a viable option for a man currently; my advice is to keep that at a safe distance and keep your guard up. “Christian” culture must get the message, in my opinion, that wanting things from men is fine–in fact, complaining about men is fine–but not without some serious legwork on the part of those who want to reap from men, that “love your neighbor as yourself” stuff.
In terms of men, they sow with their effort sparingly, and fail to realize that they ought to expect to reap sparingly. (2 Corinthians 9:6) But all they know how to do, for the most part, is to keep on complaining about what men do or don’t do, slog on the “duty” and “responsibility.” Such entities deserve nothing from men and can expect not to receive anything, not because men ought to outright spite others–do not hear me wrong–but because we need to take care of ourselves so as to be capable of having something to offer. The Body of Christ was meant to interact with and take care of itself, or it cannot expect its members to function.
So I agree with the necessity of MGTOW. We are called to be free, to be loved, and to give generously. Another phrase going around out there is “men on strike,” which I also feel is misleading, because in all reality, it’s the mainstream society that went on strike on men first. The proposed scenarios–not the least of which being the unacceptable legal/societal/cultural conditions for marriage–for men are simply no longer even doable. But again, my end goal is to see a restored, healthy interaction between people. Perhaps other MGTOWs believe similarly, but I am not so clear on this point.
Another matter is the MGTOW approach to women. Where I agree is that men must–absolutely must–know how to preserve themselves from women in a world fixated on protecting women from men but has very little interest on protecting men from women; in today’s society it is simply too easy for a man to become an abandoned victim of a woman (investigate Men’s Rights resources for a LONG run-down of how that happens). Effectively, we have men white-knighting Jezebels and slaughtering one another, among other problems. This matter is the doing of the mainstream–that is to say, men and women both–but I believe the exceptionally rare case of a woman who demonstrates fully capable of recognizing a man’s equal personhood ought to be recognized and SUPPORTED by men. A woman who is demonstrably on the same side as men? Precious–and no, for the ignorant, being married to a man is not automatic proof. But I believe if the MGTOW movement wants to be thoroughly credible, part of its modus operandi ought to be supporting such women. Men must make room for them, rare as they may be, in the discussion with full appreciation.
Dear MGTOWs: friendly fire upon women who actually have compassion for men as equally human is absolutely the worst. They too are precious human beings with value unto themselves, and have much to offer the world, just as men, should they so choose. To me, the institution of marriage (that is, of the 21st century) is unsafe because of the legal and cultural context, but that is not the fault of the woman who desires to be part of a solution and not part of the problem and she does NOT deserve to be a casualty of MGTOW. Negative effects on her are every bit as unacceptable as negative effects on men. Men can demonstrate support of such women and that can be a huge factor in its success in changing our greater culture.
Oh, and then there are the PUAs. Misguided to say the least, PUAs are the opposite of self-respecting, degrading their bodies on sexual immorality. MGTOW PUAs are of course cynical in women’s abilities to offer a loving relationship, but they go after sexuality alone. The nature of lust, people, is idolatry, which means saying “come to life” to that which does not have life on its own: if a woman does not love you, but you think her body can, then it’s only your vain imagination at work saying “come to life” to her body in your heart. If a woman truly does not love you, such as a prostitute (see Proverbs 6:26) then you REALLY degrade yourself by being reduced to a “piece of bread.” You sin against your body (1 Corinthians 6:18), by joining it with that which does not love you. Women are not “prizes,” but can potentially offer loving relationships or people involved in sexual immorality are simply reducing themselves to objects.
MGTOW is what we had coming. And frankly, for the most part it’s an absolutely necessary movement provided that it takes productive steps forward. Men are achieving what the mainstream does not want them to achieve: self-awareness, a recognition for their value as individuals and the futility of our current culture that wants to take from men without paying attention to their needs. Men are becoming aware and, as I titled this blog: “self-defensive.”
Self-Defensive Christian Man 
Amfortas
/ June 28, 2014A first class article.
selfdefensiveman
/ June 28, 2014Glad you liked it. Thanks for stopping by. 😉
Amfortas
/ June 28, 2014As a Christian and an MRA, I took note of all the cogency here. It was refreshing. I often find myself having to remind my fellow MRAs that there is far more to them than simply their complaints.
Please drop by the Tavern sometime and drink Grace with me.
selfdefensiveman
/ June 28, 2014Thank you. I titled the blog for its all-around purpose of restoring/rebooting the value of a man’s life and a man’s identity independently–for once–from what he “owes” the culture.
I know Jesus of the Scripture, and I learned to cling to him away from this culture. I wish, somehow, MGTOWs would see that the love, refuge and protection in Christ is truly what they need as an alternative to the dehuminizing sentiments and negligence of Christian culture. I hope we, as men, can build something new for ourselves as we defend ourselves from the mainstream.
God be with you. Take care.
frankinsane
/ June 28, 2014Nice one. I agree with pretty much everything stated in this article. I often refer to MGTOW as “Men Generally Terrified Of Women”.. I also note that most so called “mgtow’s” are not actually doing anything that suggests to me that they are a threat to the femistate..
Lets face it, the good ladies and officers of the state are not concerned that a man may choose to avoid women, refuse to get married and have children..
They are also happy that he likes to keep his money and spend it on his own pleasures.. (They will largely turn a blind eye to any occasional use of state-approved prostitutes who come in many guises)..
After all, the femistate is still getting its 56lb of flesh from the mans body of work every week to pay for its many misandric programs that are designed to encourage more men and women to segregate themselves from that which man and woman are meant to be..
selfdefensiveman
/ June 28, 2014Hopefully the MGTOW issues will work themselves out, in all seriousness.
I would like to think that, currently, MGTOW dialogue represents a “phase” in which they’re mostly scraping the mainstream’s sludge from their own being, which is not a particularly lovely process; basically like the “blowing off steam” part of one’s day before moving on to the new agenda as it were.
MGTOW is doing many great and necessary things as far as identifying and cleaning out misandry in the group-think. In itself MGTOW itself isn’t meant to be much more than that, but individually men will still need to find a good, healthy way.
frankinsane
/ July 4, 2014Yes, that’s a good way of looking at it.. (as I am fond of saying!).. I think every man needs to GHOW for a while in order to clear his head and known what he wants from life.. So another I look at the MGTOW idea is “What’s new here? Just the old bachelor lifestyle usually wrapped with some bitter packaging?”.. Not much to see! I get the impression that most of them still have one foot in the world they fear though.. Because they crave [sex] and what it can provide them with.. This can be a long term and disappointing lifestyle for all concerned.. Semi-committed [relationships], all the [trouble] and none of the “security”..
[edited]
Don Quixote
/ July 12, 2014The ‘Manosphere’ seems to be the only place where Jacob and Esau meet for fellowship. Please let me explain for those not up to speed with calvinist theology. In Romans chapter 9 the apostle Paul uses Jacob and Esau as 2 different examples of election and reprobation respectively. “Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated” Rom.9:13
What gets my interest is that both Jacob and Esau can be compared to the MGTOW and PUA respectively. Ok, I realise it doesn’t work as smoothly as it does in Roman chapter 9 but some of the parallels are there.
Esau was the first recorded PUA in the bible.
[Picking up and having sex with]Marrying the local [unrespectable women] against his parents wishes. Genesis 28.In contrast Jacob didn’t seem interested in a woman until his parents told him to go get a wife from his mothers family, somewhere interstate. Was Jacob a MGHOW?….hmmm…kinda. And they both ended up with multiple wives, for completely different reasons. Check out Twice Married Always Married if you are interested:
http://oncemarried.net/twice-married-always-married.html
Anyhoo, politics does make some strange bedfellows, and whodathunk that Jacob and Esau would ever meet for fellowship? We now have a common enemy, feminism. And after the enemy is defeated we can go back to fighting each other. From one MGHOW to another, God bless you.
[edited slightly for language]
Sarot
/ February 24, 2015Nice info here. I am also writing to let you guys know that you should Be very careful of commenting on anti-MGTOW sites especially ones run by females. If you questions their reasoning for being anti-MGTOW you will get banned and in my case threatened. The site I am referring to is a blog called “Sarah’s Daughter” where they love to mock single men and MGTOW’s and call them losers. If you disagree with her you may not be able to even post at all. It’s best to just leave irrational busy body females who like to shame men alone and just post on sites run by men. That’s just my two cents.
selfdefensiveman
/ February 24, 2015I’m familiar with “Sarah’s Daughter.”
There’s no doubt that MGTOW disturbs a lot of women, oftentimes quite understandably–even though feminism was more of the original “I don’t need the opposite sex” philosophy (despite the actuality of its dependence on men for resources–taxdollars if nothing else).
Truly, I think there may be more common ground between men and women than we may be giving credit. The thing is, when women see men doing something, they tend to wonder “where do I fit in?” and MGTOW dialogue can be very cruel to women in not offering an answer to that.
Many women want men to succeed but, I believe we can speak to women with intent in our concerns rather than just outright complaining without a solution. MGTOW’s concerns include being wary in the culture in which we marry (men and women both causing problems for men) including the loss of many men’s basic rights, and incredible disadvantages that make marriage arguably unfeasible. BUT, many women are interested in restoring the rift.
Yes, Sarah’s Daughter (from what I’ve seen) is below-the-belt ridicule (like claiming MGTOW’s, usually incorrectly, are materially unsuccessful losers for one thing) and it’s hard to imagine how she thinks she can shame men into liking her sort of attitude towards men in general.
Sarot
/ February 25, 2015Sarah’s Daughter is certifiably insane as far as i’m concerned. I made the mistake of disagreeing with her and when she blocked me I emailed her my rebuttal like I was writing an essay- that is how I write. i was courteous to her but i did rebuke her. I used scripture and countered her every point. Instead of responding to me in a mature adult manner she just left a comment on her blog that she had logged my comments and my email and if i contacted her again she would contact the police and have me up on anti-bullying charges. I will never ever email any website, especially one run by a female who mocks men. It isn’t worth being threatened to call the cops over. I don’t see how one email can be considered harassment, (especially considering I was polite to her and there was no threatening comments or ugly language at all) but in the minds of irrational hateful people I guess anything is possible? From now on if I see a site and the content is nasty I will just report them and not even bother trying to reason with them- it just isn’t worth the trouble.
selfdefensiveman
/ February 25, 2015This does not surprise me. I’d say just let her be, as you say.
Should I understand that you are a Christian man? You may find you like this place you’ve stumbled upon. 😉
God bless you sir.
James
/ March 9, 2019It’s Jezebel’s daughter not Sarah’s daughter. She has more in common with Jezebel than she does with Sarah. To her, Christianity is just an image cleansing therapy that helped her cleans her reputation without a real change of heart. In other words, she has slept with more than 80 men (her own words) but still wants to be considered as desirable as a virgin.
Sarot
/ February 25, 2015Thanks. Yes i am a Christian and it is nice to find a site where people are courteous and kind and are willing and able to respond and debate in a mature christian manner. Sure- I will post here. thanks for the invitation. God bless you as well. Have a great evening!
George Tasker
/ June 2, 2017I know I’ve come in a bit late on the conversation but I wanted to supply my own definition of mgtow.
Put very simply and mgtow is a man who has come to the realisation that to achieve happiness in life a woman is an unnecessary option. The right woman might be the icing on the cake but she is not the cake.