Why the Manosphere Does Not Need to be Angry or Bitter

There’s no doubt about it: reading about men’s real-world issues can easily cause extreme personal frustration and upset. Of course, we’re reading about “bad news,” which in itself is no fun to dwell on, but on the other hand, truth is truth; is the Bible itself devoid of discussion about injustices and the unpleasantness of sin? No one who has the slightest knowledge of Scripture would ever claim so. The important thing is to have an answer for every thought that we get–not to end up with a thought that begets destruction to ourselves.

2 Corinthians 10:5

We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ,

What is it that’s infuriating when reading about men’s issues and facing our realities? Now of course, bad news is bad news, and the world is full of it; injustices left and right. However, to quote the comedian Bill Burr (like most comedians, he uses a crassness that I don’t condone) in a stand-up I came across: “I envy women. I’m not saying all your problems get solved, but at least they’re taken seriously!”

To me, that’s the mixed blessing about reading men’s rights stories. On the one hand, I feel like I’m in the company of people calling a spade a spade: it is unbelievable how many issues men have that are unique to us that get so little attention, so little serious energy directed at attempting to solve, and in fact, it’s a bold thing even to speak about men’s issues. While women’s problems are declared from rooftops, men’s are in parentheses in a gracious moment. The mere mention of, say, men’s well-founded concerns about the likelihood of getting divorced and destroyed in family court or the lack of domestic violence resources for men–and just so many more I could easily list–we have to worry about coming across as offensive, let alone that barely anyone puts the level of energy that goes to women’s problems. As of this writing, there is not even a single federal level department dedicated specifically to any need of men and boys with a multitude of programs and an abundance of taxpayer resources dedicated to women.

Christian culture isn’t any better and often exposes gross hypocrisies when speaking of masculine responsibilities (accurately or not) without even a word of protective or restorative sentiment to men in a culture of unprecedented and intentional attacks on masculinity from feminism. If we can’t protect men, as a culture, then we can’t protect women, because it’s men who are simply expected to do the “provide and protect” small-scale and large-scale. And if it’s confusing what I mean by “protective” and “restorative,” just check out virtually any women’s ministry!

Angry yet? 😉

I’ve burned up and cried out to God a number of times over this. Clearly there’s such a thing as righteous indignation over injustice and it’s common to see women afforded that by the boatloads (i.e. “a man shouldn’t treat you like that” messages). Men are usually utterly deprived of the same caliber of loving ministry.

God’s answer to me was to the effect of: “You think YOU’RE mad?” In my cry out to God, He made very, very real to me the sheer wrath and punishment being stored up against those responsible for this scene, including “Christians”; multitudes–of women, especially–will have to answer for why they had one level of passion, one level of indignation, one level of energy unto action (be it time, money, resources, etc.) for the needs of women and a fraction at best for the needs of men. Many would claim that their love for men is evidenced in the treatment of their husbands and sons, and yet, while that is questionable, what of the world–law, culture, and society–that their male relatives, whom they “love,” have to live in?

Matthew 25:45-46

Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

So why does this thought set me free from anger? Because suddenly any notion of anger feels like going to war with a squirt gun against people who are about to be victims of a nuclear strike! It feels downright ridiculous! I know that my anger cannot generate a single degree of heat compared to what God has in store for this sin against men for whom Christ died.

Romans 12:19-20

Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Note the phrase “leave room for God’s wrath.” When I realize what comes to the unrepentant sinner, I’m quite genuinely moved to sympathy. What God can do to someone who harms me is so far beyond anything that any human could possibly do! (Matthew 10:28) Suddenly I’m moved to be on God’s good side more than anything, firstly, and then minister toward the good of the person after I “leave room for God’s wrath.” My own anger washes away–what’s the point? God’s wrath is comparable to millions of degrees of heat; my anger is pathetic by comparison!

Therein lies the message of God’s love: it matters when we are hurt.

1 Corinthians 3:17

If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

That would be gender-neutral “him” folks. God will not tolerate harm women do to men any more than vice-versa, nor will He put on the kid gloves with women the way the modern West (particularly) comparatively takes women’s sin against men so much more lightly than the reverse. I’ve heard a lot of references to Jezebel over the years, and rightly so, since Revelations refers to Jezebel as something of a recurring character (Revelations 2:20). And there’s one thing notable about the story of Jezebel which I haven’t heard mentioned in all the discussion, and that’s the way that she died: killed by her eunuchs, the men she emasculated (2 Kings 9:32-33).

God cares about men, even if today’s world values men so much less. And there’s more to be said about God’s justice and the powers of our prayer, and God WILL hear those of men who cry out.

Luke 18:1-18

18 Now Jesus was telling the disciples a parable to make the point that at all times they ought to pray and not give up and lose heart, saying, “In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and had no respect for man. There was a [desperate] widow in that city and she kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice and legal protection from my adversary.’ For a time he would not; but later he said to himself, ‘Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow continues to bother me, I will give her justice and legal protection; otherwise [a]by continually coming she [will be an intolerable annoyance and she] will wear me out.’” Then the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says! And will not [our just] God defend and avenge His elect [His chosen ones]who cry out to Him day and night? Will He delay [in providing justice] on their behalf? I tell you that He will defend and avenge them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find [this kind of persistent] faith on the earth?”

I would urge considering the notion of the word “quickly” in this passage, as I have claimed it in prayer myself to great effect; it is not referring to the day of final judgment. How could it? There’s simply no way a human judge could be SLOWER than that, and Jesus is clearly comparing the speed of God’s vengeance here to the slowness of a human who doesn’t care.

Therefore, to men who are on this wavelength, pray with persistence for justice on your own behalf, while praying for souls. God loves you enough to protect you, pull-no-punches. These two notions are not in conflict.

2 Timothy 4:14

Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds.

This is a matter of confidence of God’s love for us and how much it matters to Him when we are hurt by others–in fact, that is the first step toward forgiveness, in which we release the debt that we are due for the sin committed against us.

 Ephesians 3:16-19

May He grant you out of the riches of His glory, to be strengthened and spiritually energized with power through His Spirit in your inner self, [indwelling your innermost being and personality], 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through your faith. And may you, having been [deeply] rooted and [securely] grounded in love, 18 be fully capable of comprehending with all the saints (God’s people) the width and length and height and depth of His love [fully experiencing that amazing, endless love];19 and [that you may come] to know [practically, through personal experience] the love of Christ which far surpasses [mere] knowledge [without experience], that you may be filled up [throughout your being] to all the fullness of God [so that you may have the richest experience of God’s presence in your lives, completely filled and flooded with God Himself].

Amen! God give us strength!

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